I have never wanted him to possibly fall back on/hide behind the Asperger’s label – or use it as a crutch in any way – as, unfortunately, I see and hear this all the time, as I’ve been an educator for nearly 15 years. Most importantly, he is still quite different, unique, and VERY quirky… but he is happy! For the most part, they don’t consider themselves as being different from anyone else, but they are victims of a lot of bullying because they don’t care about the same things as other girls their age (they absolutely don’t care about clothes, hair styles, make-up, boys, etc., which makes them targets for some mean comments — and they actually have no idea why they are targets!). Aww,welling up myself…glad we connected!I will be in the touch? I NEVER bought into hissy fits, he had to clean his room and put away his laundry, and participate. Firstly I need to have clear instructions on exactly what I have to do, when people contradict what they say (regardless of witnesses) I become confused so end up only doing half the job or completely forgetting about it. I am the mother of an aspergerian son who is 12 . The person who told me to use my hands in that football game (point 3) has given me a lifetime’s worth of good advice too. You are right in that people don’t appreciate the unseen struggles of those who are ‘mild’ on the spectrum and that this is also true for a lot of problems people have in life, including mental illness. I think my favorite points are #1 and #10. So they do, in fact, struggle – and will tell you that X is the reason why. Chris. Thank you for making it very clear to understand. Later I stumbled upon this article and it made me realise that she will, eventually, find her place in the world with her own group of people, people who are right for her and who she feels comfortable with. Secondly, know that your son (and you) are not alone. This also works for my NT son who only has ADHD!! If you want to keep updated about new posts, the Facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/autisticnotweird, the Twitter page is https://twitter.com/AutisticNW, and there’s an option on this page to subscribe by email. First, as a parent, I want to thank you for writing this article. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. My son is high functing too. It took me a lot longer to learn that lesson than you did. I would like to have a copy of this to give to my son one day down the road. 2) There is now an extension to this article, with tips 11-15. Be patient and allow them time to put their thoughts into words. Those ‘popular’ guys who seem to love hurting people? We have a pretty good sense of humour and want to give Jacks the best chance of being the best he can be and teach him resilience and independance along the way. I’m trying to get into a job where you make, program and service the bots instead, but it ain’t happening…. Tips on how to take the perfect measurements . I know it’s a cliché to say that a dash of autism is actually really useful in some jobs, but it’s absolutely true! At 15 I learned that I have dyselxia too. Thanks a lot for the comment. I’m really glad you got something from it. You have made my day. Thank you so much you tell it as it and that’s what’s made this story so unique. I believe my husband to be on the spectrum. Simply apply it to your son, bearing in mind his circumstances, personality, maturity and so on. Glad you loved it. At 8 is was a videogame tester, but deep down I knew it wouldn’t happen. Hi, really sorry for the late reply- WordPress is pretty bad at notifying me about new comments!! I have recently done a cognitive test and am due to get the results soon so that should help me with looking for job. Kevin Buchman exhibited those very symptoms. Thank you! It’s such a mystery trying to work out why he acts differently, but I really want to. Love this. As he got to 1st or 2nd grade, it was because we didn’t want him to think he had a “label” attached to him. I wish him all the best. And by ‘ask for help’, I don’t just mean in lessons. everything written here was very relevant and so interesting, as well as very helpful to read. It is also important not to shoulder the blame for other people’s mistakes. I loved this so much. Take care, thanks again, This is great. Having worked with youngsters at the very severe end of the spectrum as well as the mild end (and of course, being on the mild end too), I know there’s not necessarily a correlation between how severe your autism is and how severely it affects your life. And yes I too think we need to hear more from you, a book would be awesome. Being out of their routine and in an intimidating setting, they might need longer to get their words out. I feel so deflated.. my heart breaks for my boy because he has asked me before if he has aspergers or autism I never know what to say once when he was 8 I said yes I bought books for his age to learn about it and his dad flipped on me… I feel like this is going to harm him more emotionally.. pls help me to talk to my son in a way to help him understand. There’s so many layers of masks upon masks that I’m genuinely uncertain how far down I need to dig to find the “real” person without gouging into flesh and bone… if in fact they’re not already completely fused to my skin in a way only radical surgery and an extensive graft will cure… whilst still leaving scars around the periphery. It makes such a huge difference. Dr. Temple Grandin describes her hearing like having a sound amplifier set on maximum loudness. thank you very much for this, I thought it was brilliant and insightful. x Please email me with anything new that you write. Hi Vickie, It can be quite challenging to healthcare providers the vast differences between individuals with ASD. As a mom of a 14 year old Aspie, your post has been a breath of fresh air!! I loved this article (Since I first wrote this article I’ve had my fair share of snarky comments about this not being a “pure” top ten list!) Chris. And, as you know very well, the opposite is true as well. I’d say that his social skills and love for others don’t count against his Asperger’s. The most depressing years of my life were my early adulthood years- just before I discovered I was autistic. // ss_form.polling = true; // Optional parameter: set to true ONLY if your page loads dynamically and the id needs to be polled continually. Factor structure of autistic traits in children with ADHD. Your answer makes perfect sense! You’re already normal in your own way, and everyone else is weird. What a wise soul you are. This is another bit of advice I’d give to anyone going through hard times. http://autisticnotweird.com/when-should-i-tell-my-child/, hey, so my mum just sent this link to me to read and I have just read it. That’s brilliant and I will share this with my young autistic clients if I may. Children with ASD may have difficulty developing language skills and understanding what others say to them. XD Ah well, I’m only ever an internet away. He has won awards from school. Thanks a lot for the comment, and all the best for your lad. Other than that he is very high functioning. And if you don’t, I truly want to thank you for your reply… I appreciate it , Hi Katherine, I don’t mind sharing in the least. So, when I think about it, I became unhappy when other people told me I needed to be. I learned two days ago that I have aspergers (I’m 18). Thanks a lot for your comments on both articles- oddly enough, I was about to recommend “I just found out I’m autistic” as a suitable article for him, but it looks like you already found it! I really liked the balance of the last point, which recently has been so, so true for me. Thank you again I truly enjoyed the article and appreciate the insight. You are your own person, not everybody else’s. mula, Today i learned that my 15 year old daughter is autistic.i knew she was different ,bold ,unusual .then 13 she was deppressed i thought then the dr said adhd.today was an emotional roller coaster.out of all the shit i read when i got home your words made me cry and helped me the most .i sent it to my daughters cell phone.thank you, Hello there I just wanted to say thank you for writing an truly exceptional article which has given me a very helpful insight into this area of autism. Hoping I can give him some perspective about navigating all the ins and outs of his 7th grade life. I’m sorry your nephew’s been through such a rough time. They then take the child for hearing testing, only to learn there is no hearing deficit. I have worked with severely autistic children who are literally the happiest people I know. I think every person is unique and may have something they are dealing with that no one else is aware of. ? Thank you for taking the time to write to me. Congratulations to him! I am saving this for my son! Whatever you’re going through, you are not alone. Chris, Regarding the shirt in #5 … hmm … I wonder what the comparative representation of spectrumites in management / “boss” positions is, versus normites? If you would be so kind to forward it to my email address below, I would be greatly indebted. And I’m sorry that the quoted sentence prevented you from sharing the whole article. She had a huge group of friends when she was little but has gradually become more and more isolated. A copy will be added to my stash of bits of written advise. Definitely will show my 12 year old son and a lot of my young clients. I tend to agree that if a diagnosis is not needed, it shouldn’t be chased up with any kind of urgency. Especially if, as I’ve described before (point 6), you’re on the “mild” end of the spectrum- ‘normal enough’ for people to have high expectations of you, but just ‘autistic enough’ to really struggle to achieve them. Chris. If therapy could help then I DEFINITELY wouldn’t hesitate- it’s not just for people going through immediate term troubles. I don’t know if I’m able to do that or not or if it will last at all through till tomorrow, but I’m certain he knows that he is greatly loved. It’s often difficult to tell which one’s the right decision, and it’s probably different depending on each case. And I’m glad you’re telling him how much it’s his personality that defines him rather than academia (and this coming from an ex-teacher ). , I shared this as a column EVERYONE of EVERY age should read as it does apply to all very well. You might need to pause between words or short sentences to allow them time to process what you are saying. He has been classified as naughty, unruly, slow etc for his whole life. I hope it helps him in the future. I decided this because there are great communicating people out there who are better than average in these 9 areas. How he feels. Once again thank you. I give the ‘you are not alone’ advice to several people: those who have lost relatives, those who suffer with depression, and just about anyone going through a hard time. Chris. . Having taught several children with Aspergers I am now 100% sure she has mild autism. Whichever one they choose, simply go with the flow, allow them time, and be patient. Glad to hear it! We feel fortunate about that. Thank you so much for this, i feel alone alot, and can’t/didn’t understand why other people couldn’t understand me. I’m going to look for you on Facebook as well as share this with friends who have children or grandchildren on the spectrum. I was in the same boat- did very well at school but struggled once I left education. This may help her out. Until he has a meltdown. Helen Hoang writes both a wonderfully empathetic, cute, and funny autistic romance heroine and a very sexy, caring, and vulnerable mixed Asian male lead. Thank you for raising awareness and for providing support and for being an inspiring role model to others. Use key words that are specific to the situation. I don’t mind in the least- people like your son are who this article was written for! Hello Jodi, Chris, Your article has touched my heart! Try reading the book “Saving Danny” by Cathy Glass. Thanks for reading! Sent! I find different things work for different students and I believe this may be one some will find useful. ss_form.height = '1000'; var ss_form = {'account': 'szQ0NzUwBQA', 'formID': 'M05MTLRIsbDUTUwxStU1SbVI1bU0Sk3UNbdMtkhJNjVPS01LAwA'};
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